raining thoughts again

incompletion Originally uploaded by jdthinker

" it requires courage to share, whether for speaker or listener, for much of what we share are fears and doubts (and we always hope these fall on ears mature and let the receivers not be judgmental.) the process of getting to know oneself is truly frightening that is why we need support. one cannot become a whole person without such self-knowledge. --- Gilda Cordero-Fernando... an excerpt from her book a spiritual pillow book... a really lovely read... my current thought is somewhat related... more so it's about... sharing and hitting walls. i have braved and shared a piece of myself only i am quite uncertain on the effect of it to the one i shared it to... i am scared of this friendship... so unme to be able to share to someone i don't know very well... but i did. and i did so without much difficulty or struggle on my part... but i seem to have hit a wall... and that is what is scaring me... have i said too much? said the wrong things? strained the link too much? i don't know. i have no clue of what to expect... i used to be too doubtful and untrusting of everyone and everything... but i know i am not the same person as before... this journey that i embarked upon may still be in the beginning stage... but it's far , way too far off to turn back. i may not be sure of anything except that i don't want to drop back... "God will complete your incompletions.", Joel Osteen said. so i am quite certain that whatever it is that i am not sure of will find certainty in the coming days... after all God have done a lot of unplanned things for me in this journey of faith... these are just regular bumps on the roads that i have to bear... i know that i may seem alone in this but i am not... i am so not! God is with me, he is driving... i just need to be a big girl on this and press on... even if the people around me turn out to be either crabs and walls... they are there for me to scale... to get to where God has planned for me... thankfully, i have my arts to turn to... to loosen my stressed self... so greatness... again, i say if you do not need me... please let me be... but then that seem to be not the direction the wind is going... i still sense things amidst... i will continue to pray for enlightenment... there is much to learn... i've let God be God... and so be it... like a fallen leaf... i the wind carry me off to where i am best needed... "your will be done, my Lord. and not mine."