we have a blue moon tonight! say an extra prayer of thanks...

blue moon 09 Originally uploaded by * jdt... (shabba!)

"Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us." --- Hal Borland A blessed Happy New Year to everyone! :) ps: Shabba! is the best word of the year

painting for larz

painting for larz
Originally uploaded by * jdt... (shabba!)

" like branches of a tree, we may grow in different directions, yet our roots remain as one. each of our lives will always be a special part of the other..." --- my fave tree quote, read this somewhere

*** finally got to finish my friend, larz's request... funny because she is the grand daughter of a painter and she requested me to do a painting for her... i am honored... "hope you like this larz.... " :)

working for the Big Boss

“ for it is God who is at work in you, enabling you both to will and to work for his good pleasure.” -- Philippians 2:13 In a chat once with someone wise... being super busy/stressed with work meant... a good problem... In a way, that is true... because that meant good business. It meant that we are continually blessed by God because He has trusted us to do His work for others... With the things that went on the past months, I got to realize (all the more) that blessings come in many shapes and sizes... Typhoons Ondoy, Pepeng and Santi hit the country pretty hard and devastated many lives... losing homes, business and love ones... many are altered forever... And as it is Christmas season, I thought of what those people are thinking and feeling right now... What if I was in their shoes? Would I be able to go on... and deal with the busyness of the season? These natural disasters were meant to call our attention to something... and we thought it nothing but someone else's fault beacause it didn't hit us directly... Or did it? I write about this now because of things overheard from the people I work with... December, being a very busy month... work has been really stressful... everything rushed... miscommunications, misinformation and stuffs like that... everyone seems not to be as reliable as they should be... And the said people I work with are greatly stressed and have been complaining a lot... It is the holiday season and none of us have a proper holiday to speak of... not that we overwork them... I don't think that's the issue... And I am not sure what is the issue... may be they are just tired and stressed... so they complain... I can see their dedication and diligence... But I feel them being tired to the point of wanting to give up and yet none of them do... something is making them hold on... and for that I admire them... And so, you ask, what does that got to do with the storm victims? It's in my head... Because while my people complain about how hard their work is... or why this dress is being repaired for the nth time... and how their lives are this and that... I think of how little those are comparing to the tragedy that happened to the typhoon victims... and of recent, fire victims in Manila... the people who were on the ship in the sea tragedy in Batangas... and the people affected by Mt. Mayon's eruption... They seem to have forgotten how blessed they are... despite the struggle... they still have something to hold on to... unlike the others who have no more... They may not make the best decisions and choices but they should realize that they, too should share... maybe not money... but time and energy... because with each work they do... that is what they share... their time and energy and through them a peice of God's grace is given to whoever it si that wear the clothes... How do I tell that to people older than me? That they are channels of God's blessing... that each time they complain they complain not to me but to God... 'Lord, I need your help there.' Fashion is a glamorous business... maybe... to the famous and socially adept... but making dresses is not easy... one dress pass through many hands until it is done. My mind help create a design... another mind execute it, and another and another... I feel like I am only a channel that connects two places... From the people I work with to the people we do work for (employees to clients)... The stress from the people downstairs is very infectious... it get to me like glue... except at night when I sleep they come off like chipped paint because they seem not relevant to my level anymore... I am not a perfect boss... I still have much to learn... I am not a guru in this field of fashion... I do not claim to be... I am only an artist who help create... I am a bridge who help get ideas across... And hopefully, I am a channel of God's grace to the people I do work for and I work with... God's own hands, heart and mind... There is much to be done... ' O Lord, make haste to help me... So I can help as well...' Shabba!

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Merry Christmas, everyone! Originally uploaded by * jdt... (super busy... shabba!)

May we all find Christ being born in our hearts and share Him with each other... Merry Christmas, everyone!

december dusk

december dusk
Originally uploaded by * jdt... (super busy... shabba!)

"There come times when I have nothing more to tell God. If I were to continue to pray in words, I would have to repeat what I have already said. At such times it is wonderful to say to God, 'May I be in Thy presence, Lord? I have nothing more to say to Thee, but I do love to be in Thy presence.' " --- O. Hallesby


simbang gabi, officially starts... christmas is so near...

wear your dreams

wear your dreams
Originally uploaded by * jdt...

*** the other night, my sister was hand-painting shirts for my brother to give away... i thought i should make one for myself, too... so i put down my work for a while and did a creative side trip... (hmm... pero creative din naman yung work ko, ah?)

good news: this is what came out... :)
... shabba!

bad news: but the shirt's not mine to wear... :(
... oh, snap!

ps: i wish i just did this to the wall downstairs... it's exactly what i want to paint there...

joylee bday to you!

joylee bday to you!
Originally uploaded by * jdt...

"Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year: The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again." --- Menachem Mendel Schneerson

***my sister's birthday last weekend... happy birthday, joy! :) xoxo

moon over me

moon over me
Originally uploaded by * jdt...

"Give thanks for what you are now, and keep fighting for what you want to be tomorrow." --- Fernanda Miramontes-Landeros

*** remember... :)


***i'm sorry i haven't written anything lately... mind on pause... but not exactly... just a bit here and there a lot... farmville seems so much easier... hope i can gather my thoughts soon...

ondoy at 3:22pm

ondoy at 3:22pm
Originally uploaded by * jdt...

RT @jimparedes "The Filipino is a 4wheel drive--slow on the highway but resilient through rough roads, floods. We will overcome." -- (retweeting jim paredes)


*** blessedly we were safe... in this part of bulacan... typhoon ondoy was something unexpected... we all thought it was just another typhoon but he was meant to wake us up... and boy! did he ever... twitter is full of inspiring stories of many who have become God's hands... makes me wish to be near there to volunteer... but maybe i'm meant to help here... bracing for typhoon pepeng this weekend... praying everyone will be safe...

happy birthday, ate cakemaker!

happy birthday, ate cakemaker!
Originally uploaded by * jdt...

"You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience." --- Author Unknown

happy birthday, ate pinky! here's to making a lot more kids and big kids happy with your cakes... i know that makes you most happy as well... :)

*** my cousin is kinda famous for making cakes but she almost always never have a decent one for herself on her birthday... since she's always working... my sister and i went to surprise her last night... with her gift and a half-a-cake ensemble i baked last minute... happy to make her happy even for a bit... and since she'll be off to some work today... no official celebration yet....

undifferentiated

undifferentiated
Originally uploaded by * jdt...

"God cannot express himself fully in one creature and so he has produced many and diverse life-forms, so that what one lacks in its expression of goodness maybe compensated for by the others: for goodness in God is single and undifferentiated, in creatures is refracted into a myriad of hues of being." --- St. Thomas Aquinas

turn the effin flashlight off, j!

turn the effin flashlight off, j!
Originally uploaded by * jdt...

"What is true by lamplight is not always true by sunlight." --- Joseph Joubert


*** i realized i kept looking for the wrong light lately... i should have sever this tie a zillion years ago... how can i move on if i keep holding on to it...

turn the effin flashlight off, j... and look up... the Source is shining your favorite light...

with broken nib

with broken nib Originally uploaded by * jdt...

" Art will remain the most astonishing activity of mankind born out of struggle between wisdom and madness, between dream and reality in our mind." --- Magdalena Abakanowicz ***one wee hour and can't sleep... "Did I disappoint you? Leave a bad taste in your mouth?... " --- U2 You still come, when you feel like it... And recently, it doesn't bother as much... I guess, what was is something I have to live with... To teach me not to go to that level again... Ever. Sometimes, I hope you'll explain... but for all your eloquence, your words... were never there. You are self-absorbed and selfish with time.. your life all your own... Everyone else needs to take a number... And I have fallen behind... and right now, it doesn't matter... But sometimes, I just hate it... when I remember those regretful memories... but I'm OK... may not be all alright... but I've traveled on farther down the path now... and I realized I don't need you to trek on... what I first thought as grand is really silly... and what was silly is all grand...

muffin for the soul

muffin for the soul Originally uploaded by * jdt...

remembering many, many, many years ago... :) "What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. Right now." -- Author Unknown ***thank you, c! :)

our very own crop circle?

our very own crop circle?
Originally uploaded by * jdt...

*** we find this strange... our lawn is all green except for this withered patch i noticed the other day... no one seem to have an explanation... x-file-ish?... this reminds me of those alien crop circles... must be a really tiny UFO... hmmmm????

update: it's been raining the past couple of days and it's still dry... really weird... hu...hmmmm????

joyride

joyride Originally uploaded by fotobum

"Happy is he who still loves something he loved in the nursery: He has not been broken in two by time; he is not two men, but one, and he has saved not only his soul but his life. " --- G.K. Chesterton *** i wrote kuya emong about it... and he gladly uploaded a picture of his painting for me... thanks, kuya! i have much thought for this painting... this is just a quick post... will write something longer later... :)

these faces...

these faces... Originally uploaded by * jdt...

" If you want to study yourself -- look into the hearts of other people. If you want to study other people -- look into your own heart." --- Friedrich von Schiller ***i woke up early for this... remembered this sketch that i was supposed to blog about and didn't... but as you know my memory ain't the best lately... anyway, i drew this sketch while waiting for my turn at the bank sometime last week... half sleepy and dozing off a couple of times... i didn't bring my sketch pad because i wanted to write... but the pen i brought along had a broken nib and the ink runs at each stroke... so i chose to sketch instead... the weird thing is i can see faces outlined from the different sections of this sketch as i draw... the lines would resemble a profile... eyes, mouth and nose... i sure am not good with drawing faces only trees... but maybe it's just me and my sleepy self seeing things... but as i look at it now... indeed! some of them are there... who are they... pieces of the self waiting recognition... people in my life waiting attention... or people i've yet to meet... waiting for our paths to cross... i dunno... i just know they are there...

the best chocnut icecream ever!

m-trip blessing # 2: got to eat the best chocnut icecream ever! Originally uploaded by * jdt...

*** the sibs and i went to a sudden trip to makati to meet with cousins... i made sure we dropped by the ayala museum to see kuya emong's exhibit... wasn't sure he'll be there... but what do you know... he was! happy to finally meet you, kuya emong! :) ps: if we arrived a few minutes later... would probably have miss them... galing talaga ni God sa timing! :) and then we met cousin ron (a bit later than expected) and went to trilogy boutique&canteen for dinner... he has just moved to a building at the same street and was happy enough to try the place with us... it was really worth traveling from bulacan.... they have the best chocnut ice cream! :) ps: we even saw a celebrity but was too shy to say hi... hehe... but we'll surely come back one day. :)

come fly with me...

come fly with me...
Originally uploaded by * jdt...

" Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you. Love me and I may be forced to love you." --- William Arthur Ward

gathering the signs on a sunday

A couple of weeks ago, I asked God for signs just to help me decide on what to do next... knowing full well that I may either jumble things up or miss them entirely, just to be safe, I chose the things that suprised or shocked me... meaning, regardless if they were really the signs... since they have shock value... they get the vote... so, here they are --- Day1: dropped the jar of salt but it didn't break; Day2: a little frog leaped at my feet almost making stumble; Day3: a quick trip to the adoration chapel and chanced upon two titas; Day4: a cousin texted unexpectedly to invite; Day5: remembered a sketch I was supposed to do but didn't, suddenly door bell rings and it's the same client that need it; Day6: opened freezer door and ice almost dropped on me; Day7: going out the back door, little kitten, match came charging at me; Day8: touring kins in the garden and a dragonfly landed on a leaf next to me; Day9: I thought, I only have this much money in my atm turns out I have a little extra; Day10: saw a rainbow across the gray sky (it was sunny and raining at the same time) so late in the afternoon; Day11: awesomely shaped clouds at the north horizon ; Day12: got a finger cut while chopping veggies --- It's officially one week since and I still have no idea what they mean... they may mean nothing... but for the thinker that I am... everything always mean something... not necessarily what they mean at face value but what they mean to me from some other angle... I am weird that way... But I think the best way to look at all these is to try to understand what each item/moment mean to me personally... taking to consideration the places they occurred and if there were people involved... not just what is nice and good... even the not so good meanings... must take that, too... So, let's do this! Think, J! Open your heart and mind.

only half

You tell me if I have it wrong... Or maybe not... Would it be easier to be? Or be gone just like that? Am I worthy of your attention? Or it's all imagination? I've got nothing but uncertainty And half forgotten dreams... jdt/082609/mbtc

5 cycles

5 cycles Originally uploaded by * jdt...

" We are not born all at once, but by bits. The body first, and the spirit later; and the birth and growth of the spirit, in those who are attentive to their own inner life, are slow and exceedingly painful. Our mothers are racked with the pains of our physical birth; we ourselves suffer the longer pains of our spiritual growth." --- Mary Antin, 1912 *** I do not remember what I wished for... I do remember a voice in my head saying, "it's going to be okay..." somehow... I believe it... Thank you po, God! :) ps: a cousin took this shot but i used the in-camera editor to process it...

birthday eve

birthday eve
Originally uploaded by * jdt...

*** just had a birthday eve dinner with the clan... i guess it's akin to me to cook for them... (although i'm just a so-so cook... i figured, i got the knack for feeding people from my grandmothers... inang (mom's) makes great dishes... and nanay (dad's) makes great desserts... and then there's my mom who loves to cook, too... they always say in greeting...'kumain ka na ba?' that is of course, typical pinoy trait... our love for food ) any how, thanks to all those who came! and thanks to cousins,inc. for the cake! part 2 tomorrow... :)

oh, it's after midnight... happy birthday to me! :)


ps: i'm a day late in posting this... :)

still chasing eos

still chasing eos
Originally uploaded by * jdt...

"...yesterday was intense, today won over tomorrow and next week... why didn't i figure that out in the first place..." -- jdt


*** I started the week trying to catch up with God's spontaneity... searching for signs... but as it is, I start everything deep and end up rather silly... because God has planned to keep things simple... What was the quote from the last upload? "The obscure we see eventually. The completely obvious, it seems, takes longer." -- Edward R. Murrow... That still so applies... I'm predicting, later today, I'll be like fruits in a fruit shake, tomorrow, I'll be a shaken snowglobe... but then... who knows... 'panalo si God sa pagkaspontaneous' ... I may end up catching Eos after all... :)

some sundays again

"For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way. Something to be got through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life." -- Fr. Alfred D'Souza do you realize that it's not the same as yesterday? no matter how many signs you look for, you may never notice... do you realize it sounded rather differently now? it is not as inspiring as that half remembered melody... how many more early mornings will you find yourself awaken? only to forget the dream that you wake up from... a big chunk of you wants to go back... retrace, do it over... but, alas! you can not remember the way. all you have is a map sketched in your mind, with landmarks familiar but distant... and your guides are gone, long before they gave you directions... poor little tourist, you are lost in the unfamiliar again... lost in thought.. in memory... but what is your memory -- half sentences hurriedly written on paper... spoken on walls, mumbled in the air... the vampires and gargoyles will always hover about... and they will feed on your fear... sucking out your energy... but only if you let them... do you remember when you were slightly braver? you didn't know how to swim but you jumped into the water and realized it was only knee deep. today, you are in a similar place... the sun's just a bit bright in your eyes which made you dazed for the moment... you'll be fine as you walk along... you can not search for the flash of lightning when you have the sun, you must not wait for the foghorn to signal the right moment because every moment is the right moment. run along now, this is your day... be blessed beyond belief! the photo from fave flickrfriend, b... super thanks, ulit, mike! :) last line from a fave twittergirl, s... a true inspiring soul... super thanks! :)

a dozen to go

" Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will find them gradually, without noticing it, and live along some distant day into the answer." --- Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet I feel the energy being sucked out of me... and I think I'm a willing victim... but the vampire is asleep... this must be another enemy, then... some gargoyle casting shadows hovering and waiting for the right moment... ready to strike terror and feed on my soul... I can not unthink the thoughts anymore than I can unspeak words. Everyone must have some things to deal with one way or another... a regret to live with, a mistake to learn from, a fear to master... There is no escaping situations, the only way out is through. And even if I did get to run away... I will still end up being here... I have read somewhere that God will always take us back to a certain situation until we get the lesson... I have been looking for that article over the past year but I never did find it... I would chance upon quotes and lyrics... similar but not quite... It has lead me to believe that... these lines, these quotes... they will only leap from the page at the right moment that I need them... But when is the right moment? My mind has been on automatic reset every time I thought of something clever to write... May be I should blame the vampires and the gargoyles... That is easier... Less effort to understand and look for clarity... But they are here to cast shadows, right? And what is my favorite lightplay without the shadows... The shadows can not hurt me... I have a Great Sheild... In time all will be revealed... let me not be asleep then...

again

there is nothing here but space a blank wall awaiting your touch but cringes at the sight of you there is nothing there but a path a distant bridge awaiting your steps but fades soon as you veer towards it there is nothing there but a secret soul a being forgotten unaware yet knowing unseeing yet observing there is nothing there i'm already here or am i really?

some sundays

I woke up from some dream and realized my finger was still smeared with dried paint... like that of an ink mark when you vote... (I have spent most of last night... on flickr, twitter and my fb farms that I forgot... the last thing I posted was my flickrbday photo linked to all my sites... taglined "you can make a difference." With the wind swooshing every now and then... I scurried off to bed... lulled by the sound of it... ) It's still pretty early... considering I slept late. From the half forgotten dream, people I know run through my head... claiming clarity but never offering them... then the usual what ifs and whys ushered themselves in... but I was urged to write something and all those words sounded so good in my head so I got up and debated with myself a while... and gave in... and then... ppffftt... nothing. So, even if I wasn't meant to farm at farmtown and farmville... (because I don't have to harvest until tomorrow) or tweet or check flickr... I spent the last half hour or so doing just that... hoping some juice comes out... My usernames best describe me... the thinker, the sleepyhead and Eos, the goddess of dawn. I am a sleepyhead who wakes up at dawn to think... gets? More so lately... because no matter how late I sleep, I still wake a couple of hours after... wanting to write... but then.... ppffftt... nothing. Sometimes , I wish I can record all my thoughts in a USB and then just download them... but there's probably a virus that's deleting all of them before I can hit save. Darn! So before I go back to the level of that which I have to think of all the 'unthinkers' I know... and hate them all over again... I'll go back to sleep... and hopefully be up in time for the late morning mass... There, I'll ask the Big Guy for some great anti-virus stuff... best of all... He's the only one I know who's always works like He's on stealth mode but you get to see the smiley icon saying He's online...

for the heart and light of the nation

for the heart and light of the nation
Originally uploaded by * jdt...

"Light gives of itself freely, filling all available space. It does not seek anything in return; it asks not whether you are friend or foe. It gives of itself and is not thereby diminished." --- Michael Strassfeld

*** the other version of this photo was for my mom last mother's day... i find it fitting to offer this to someone who had been the mother for all Filipinos... she, after all, has been light to our darkened nation. And with her gone, she leaves behind a tiny spark in everyone... for each of us to fan... so that we can all become light for our country... It's a great day to be a Filipino!

Salamat po, Pres. Cory!

President Cory Aquino, the ennobler

ennoble v, To make noble: "that chastity of honor . . . which ennobled whatever it touched, and under which vice itself lost half its evil" (Edmund Burke).; to elevate in degree, excellence, or respect; dignify; exalt: a personality ennobled by true generosity. We all mourn her passing... because she was our country's pillar of strength and faith... I feel that it was God's hand that dealt all these... as her family and the former president herself had said... they trusted in the will of God and had accepted it... Who are we to say '... sayang!'? Why do we dare question His will? We, who doubted Him ever so often in our own lives... even when His light and grace are right there in front of us... We go looking for the dark... We prefer to be unseeing... detached, self-righteous, self-absorbed and indifferent because we are afraid to suffer... She was not.

"Sister Lucia prophesied that she (Cory) is a gift from God and like all gifts from God she's meant to suffer..." Bishop Soc Villegas said: ".... she suffered instead of us, she suffered for us and because of us..." (spoken in a ceremony upon her arrival at the Manila Cathedral)

Cong. Teddy Boy Locsin,Jr.'s eulogy yesterday was one of the most touching... It is in his speech that I heard the word 'ennoble' and it hit me that it is the exact word that Pres. Cory is and was to everyone... Even in her death she have that sense of power... to ennoble even those who haven't met her at all... Filipinos or otherwise. Today, we bid her farewell... We must all be glad that now we have a mother who is praying for all of us from heaven. And like all children, we should learn to from her lessons... do our bit... be ennobled. " ... Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, Philippines... because you loved my mother. " --- Kris Aquino (excerpt from her interview on The Buzz last Sunday)

President Maria Corazon Sumulong Cojuanco-Aquino July 25, 1933 - August 01, 2009 my sister summed it all up in her twitter post... A Mother... A President... A Filipina... and if i may add... The Ennobler. PAALAM... AT MARAMING SALAMAT PO!

these wee hours

can i catch up? or am i too late? true to my self-contradicting self, i am in a soul trek but i have a feeling, i had either ... hit a road block... made a detour... or took a wrong turn... and am now running in circles... quite uncertain if i can finish this leg... even more uncertain if i am in the right race... i had been waking up in the wee hours many times over the past weeks... with the urge to write my thoughts down... but none of them made enough sense... and before i could even start, my own brain threw them all away... something is there - out there, maybe even near... a surprise, waiting for the right moment. i sense it... i hope i'm ready for it... i hope i'm worthy of it... but like everything lately, the when, where and what are most uncertain... so it's really either, i'm lost or i'm almost there... i am tired... but i'm not giving up.

observer sunday (intro)

today (july26) was intense... in a thinker kind of way...the memory of saturday's mid-day outburst and the evening painting's breakthrough was still about when i began my day... but i spent the rest of it getting lost... getting lost many times... literally and figuratively... i didn't know that tagging along with my mom and uncle to a distant relative's funeral will make me realize that i really don't know everything about my own town... from seeing relatives i haven't met before... to the outskirts of town where i have never been... to the little farm which i haven't visited in years... to trooping to the mall with the sibs to a celebrity meet and greet... i get to view the different levels of provincial life... same reason i'm awake this early hour wanting to write about the day... but my thoughts seem to be lost, too. will go look for them...

for clean slate tuesday

I go about uncertain still... on this supposed clean-slate -day. Woke up with someone insisting i look at the darkness, not understanding that what i do prefer to look at is the lightplay... I watched a butterfly aching to be free -- fluttering about my window screen... Looking back at it now, it surely must be a metaphor. My dream was weird as always... but this one involves people i know, summed up in several words: a cousin's wedding, a baby, eating chocolate toffee and wanting to kiss someone... Is it a yearning? Maybe... like my subconscious is telling me something... Around me, everyone seem to melt... at a point, I along with it... but I have come to realize that what is melting is a film of wax, something that was shielding me before... Maybe now, I am meant to be exposed... to shape me... must be meant to be such... My thoughts are scattered in little notebooks... unread and lost in the corners of my drawers... I stand here, somewhere in the cold walls... still uncertain of the wills of the universe... Problem arises with those about and so I am detained... I can't really tell... Maybe a swift decision, a lapse of judgment, plain silliness... I'll go check... but can I really? Later the vampire will attack... even in broad daylight. And I don't have any stake to drive into it's heart... mbtc/072109 ***wrote this a couple of days ago in one of the little notebooks i carry along... photograph is also from b... still have a couple more of his photos that i have to make entries with... thanks for letting me use it, sir! next time ulit! :)

floodgates...

i sat on the wall... watching everything... detached... nonchalant... yet connected to all... by tiny little chains... pulling from every direction... i feel peace somewhere... somewhere near... i just couldn't grasp it... i hope the floodgates open soon... /jdt/071609/mbtc

how many times have i wanted to write all of you down... uncertain of where you'll be leading me... but each moment that i think aloud... all thoughts gets lost the moment after... i'm sorry... my memory ain't the best and all of you are trapped there in some altered space and time, hoping to find meaning and sense to each character, symbol, letter and dot... i wish i could help but i have gone... long before the next train... hopped to the other side... i do wish to go back and retrace but i'm not sure if that is allowed... maybe someday... when the universe wills it... when all is different... in God's time... i'll remember all of you and then i could write and then all will make sense and the big picture is revealed... because i got sick... i've forgotten the initial thoughts that was meant for this picture... i guess this is what i'm meant to... like a trigger to begin my writing mode... something is about... this picture is from a super fave flickr friend... thanks for letting me use it, b! :)

hmmmm... hmmm...

hmmmm... hmmm...
Originally uploaded by * jdt...

" happy beginnings won't please everyone
and we all have a point to make... hmmmm...
hmmmm..."

-- Barbie Almalbis, Little Miss Spider
commuting to and from manila... as always gets me thinking of the many lives that go about around me... them who only brush thru my day but affect my thinking so much... a big chunk of me want to write something about it all... but another part doesn't know where and how to begin... besides, i've little time and my brain is a bit rusty... but today... i've this overwhelming urge to write... what about? i'm still not sure... maybe tomorrow or the day after... the floodgates will open and by then, i'll know...

the unmade bed...

"Everyday, God gives us the sun -- and also a moment in which we have the ability to change everything..." --- Paulo Coelho

the unmade bed? it just came to mind because i haven't been making my bed for days now... it's like... i get up... prep and dash downstairs to work... only fix things later when i get to go up again... could compare to life... some parts that are not as organized as the other parts... but like most phase i go through... i know it's temporary... anyway,i figured i'll write today... i've been wanting to for a while... but like moments when you want to say a lot of things but can't find the words... nothing comes out... of late, there is this nagging thing that says 'take your cue.' but which and what or who? so i wait... like always... i'll go make my bed first... change may start there...

weirdness

my site has been acting weird lately ... blogs i already imported from many months back suddenly surfaced... and some contacts couldn't see my pic page... it is strange... but probably meant just so that i can re-read those entries for some reason... hmmm???

one unbroken memory

CLOSING CYCLES

By Paolo Coelho

One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters – whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished. Did you lose your job? Had a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents' house? Gone to live abroad? Had a long-lasting friendship end all of a sudden? You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won't take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that. But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister, everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill. None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when we try to understand the things that happen to us. What has passed will not return: we cannot forever be children. Late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor towards our parents, lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone away and has not the least intention of coming back. Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away. That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts – the getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place. Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return. Do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood. Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else. Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the "ideal moment". Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person – nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important. Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits you life. Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust. Stop being who you were, and change into who you are. *** the photo is mine but this Paolo Coelho piece, I found from a flickr friend's page and borrowed it... i just couldn't resist blogging it... super thank you mike d. for sharing it... :)

that necessary mistake...

something made me stop when i read that line somewhere... so i posted a photo in my flickr site for that to remind me... here... i wanted something longer... unfortunately... i don't have the right words, right now... so what to do? hmmm... so will borrow na lang... "...never assume." -- Fr. Corapi "If you have made mistakes, there is always another chance for you. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call "failure" is not the falling down, but the staying down." ---Mary Pickford " If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment. " --- Marcus Aurelius " Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens." --- Carl Jung " The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be the beginning. " --- Ivy Baker Priest Our life is an apprenticeship to the truth that around every circle another can be drawn; that there is no end in nature, but every end is a beginning, and under every deep a lower deep opens. " --- Ralph Waldo Emerson

rico b's metropolis on repeat

I made this video playlist at myflashfetish.com

feverish...

i woke up early today... a bit feverish... with a memory of a dream about sword fighting with an unknown shrewd enemy... tying the blades in knots and some really weird ending i can't quite remember... the only thing i remember is saying that " do you not know that my husband is the king of swords and so i am the queen of swords.." interesting... so i did a little research... i'm still figuring things out...

Sword
To dream that you are wielding a sword, represents your ambition, competitive nature decisiveness and will power. You seek to hold a position of prestige, authority, and distinction. Alternatively, the sword can be seen as a phallic symbol and thus represent masculine power.

Fencing

To dream that you are fencing, suggests that you are at odds with someone in your waking life. Consider the relationship you have with the person you are fencing. If this person is unknown, you may be in conflict with an aspect of yourself. Alternatively, fencing symbolizes, agility, cunningness, and speed. Perhaps you need to incorporate these attributes into a situation in your daily life.

Fighting

To dream that you are in a fight, indicates inner turmoil. Some aspect of yourself is in conflict with another aspect of yourself. Perhaps an unresolved or unacknowledged part is fighting for its right to be heard. It may also parallel a fight or struggle that you are going through in your waking life.

To see others fighting in your dream, suggests that you are unwilling to acknowledge your own problems and turmoil. You are not taking any responsibility or initiative in trying to resolve issues in your waking life.

To dream that you are fighting to the death, indicates that you are unwilling to acknowledge a waking conflict or your own inner turmoil. You are unwilling and refusing to change your old attitudes and habits.

i am where you say i am

i am where you say i am
Originally uploaded by jdthinker

guess where this is?

keane on repeat

I made this video playlist at myflashfetish.com

09pm

09pm
Originally uploaded by jdthinker

"I alone know the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future you hope for. Then you will call to me. You will come and pray to me and I will answer you. You will seek me and you will find me because you will seek me with all your heart..." --- Jeremiah 29: 11-13