birthday rain

this is a copy of what i wrote in my other blog for my birthday... same thoughts i wanted to share but didn't have the time last night... too tired... i have only minutes left to savor this day... i chose to write down my thoughts... let's see... how has my day gone? i blogged my first wee hour and spent the rest in quiet reflection... talking to God about my year... i heard mass at 8am and the priest's homily tells of Christ inviting us to "come and see..." to come and be in touch with Him... how apt... i took a picture of the altar after the mass... the red altar cloth and flowers calls to me, Christ on the cross speaks to me to tell me how much he loves me, and to say: "happy birthday... today we begin another chapter on your journey... do not be afraid, I will be with you..." I had planned a dinner for my kins, spontaneously... so i did some grocery... thanked the greeters and then went on ahead with the day's workload... which was a lot... the takings and rushings, clients and all... plus i have to cook and prep... so i juggled celebrating with work and still found time to wander out the yard to take pictures of God's art gifts for me... while there, seeing hopeful hints in seemingly forlorn places... i felt He asked me what i wished for... i said, 'what else is there to ask, Lord... you've given so much recently already...' and then a sudden thought crossed my mind... 'one blessed smiley face will be fine.' but i do not want to make demands so i just told God 'whatever it is you plan for me... ' while i was cooking merienda for my workers, the lowland white eye chirped for me... wonderful! verde the bird, came back to say a greeting... while i was preparing for my guests... my cousins,inc... sent a surprise cake, balloons and gifts in lieu of not being able to come... they so know my kiddie heart is so easy to please... i forgive them because of birthday and bedtime bear... after a while... it rained... really hard... torrents and torrents of it... with lightning and thunder... i said to myself...' God knows i love the rain so he gave me this much...' i went out for a while and took pictures of the rain, too. it was early evening... will my guests brave the rain? i said whoever will come will be those that are meant to spend my day with me... after the rain... some kins made it, them thoughtful ones... and a surprise! one from my good friend whom i haven't seen in a long while... and then Mama Mary... the block rosary image of Our Mother of Perpetual Help came too... what a guest list! as i was seeing my friend off.. i saw the last quarter moon up in the night sky... i took pictures again... another gift from my Almighty Father... i have this philosophy that it isn't the number of people around you that matters... i'm best me with just a intimate circle who genuinely cares... it's not the material gifts... it's seeing which are the real and true gifts... my birthday officially ends right now... and i have an eternal thankful heart to the Giver of Life... my delicate birth meant something... it's been 30 odd years now... thru the intercession of the Blessed Mother and St. Jude and the prayers of all those who cared for me... i lived... i survived dying at the time of my birth because of the will of God and His grace... i know, i am meant for something! He has a plan which is now unfolding... again i say, something is amidst... i will be patiently waiting for my cue... for now i just be... so, today, i am born anew... in faith... in spirit... my special self still healing where things are broken... braving and trusting where fear and doubts once abound... running my race... journeying towards my horizon... always the dreamer, the thinker, the hopeful heart... trying my hardest to be... most certain now that Christ is with me. thank you to everyone who's been part of my life/world one way or another.... and a great thank you to God, my Loving Father... for everything from today's catextism: give thanks for a little and you will find a lot. --- the House of Nigeria a really fave quote: when you are striving to get out of the forest of your imperfections, the universe will nudge you a long. you will meet the people who will help you discover who you really are...MNF ps: special thanks to a great soul for cheering me on and somehow traveling with me.

umuulan ma't bumabaha

umuulan na naman... banal ang bawat patak... dahil ito ay dulot ng bawat butil ng pananampalataya ng bawat isang taong nanalangin noong nakaraang buwan... nasobrahan naman ata... bumabaha na... pero sa wari ko'y hindi naman ang Diyos ang may nais bumaha... dala na ito ng panahon... gawa na ito ng tao, dahil hindi nila iningatan ang yamang kalikasan... umulan... para iparamdam sa atin ng Diyos Ama na nariyan siya't nakikinig at nagmamasid... nagmamahal sa atin... bumaha naman... para ipaalala naman sa atin na tayo man ay may dapat gawin maliban sa manalangin...dapat nating ingatan ang kalikasan bago mahuli ang lahat para sa mga susunod na henerasyon... makapangyarihan ang kalikasan, pero mas makapangyarihan ang Diyos...makapangyarihan ang panalangin at pananampalataya pero kung wala namang kaakibat na gawain... wala rin itong saysay... naintindihan ninyo ba ako? sana... para hindi naman sayang ang sinulat ko...

come closer

there is something amidst. i've said it time and again...... i sensed it in the wind... and felt it with the rain... i just can't grasp it yet... there is just something... a message in the air... a whisper, a murmur, i don't know... something is being said... i am not equipped to hear it wholly just yet but, i sensed it... in God's perfect time it will be revealed, i sure hope i will be alert and get to read the signs right... for now i will pray for discernment, wisdom and serenity... as i continue to press on in this journey of mine.

did it again

it rained pretty hard today... almost storming... lightning and thunder wind and all... i wanted to stay outside and watch the rain and take pictures but my camera will get wet, so i decided to do the photo ops from the window... today, in honor of the feast of Our Lady of Assumption tomorrow, i have decided not to let myself believe that i am assuming, pretentious and all that negative stuffs. no! i am not that. i am meant for something grand! i am alive... all 30 odd years that i have because Mother Mary and St. Jude have found me special enough, one august day many many years ago so they decided to pray extra harder along with my folks... so i will live and not die before i was even aware i was born... and thankful and grateful i will always be... 10 days before i age... i resolve to do better... see beyond the negative and channel my energies to this creative gift the Almighty Father had bestowed upon me... it has taken a while to realize it but i am at least getting there... i am still at the beginning of this divinely planned journey and have yet to gain ground but... i am not giving up... i can see the outline of the direction i have to take and i will head there... i do not think God would want me to do otherwise... so, please pray with me on this... so that one day i will be able to share a piece of God with everyone, too...

refreshed

the rains had come. everything seems to burst into life anew. dragonflies and butterflies fly about the rain kissed garden and yard. chirping birds atop the canopies and croaking frogs in a distant pool. each leaf seems greener and brighter and the soil seem richer. the sky though cloudy is splendid... cool wind blows now and then rustling the branches to a melody... everything refreshed. like my soul...burdened with thoughts and worries over the recent days have been rained upon and washed over... refreshed... i hold on... i hope still... i carry on... believing... dreaming... learning...becoming...

blessed rain

it rained today. thanks be to God! the good Lord has answered our prayers. the southwest monsoon brought a tropical depression in the country, bringing in the much needed rain. the rains will somehow wash away all that is bad and bring in the good... it will bring forth life anew... like hope, to too tired hearts; faith, to too tired souls and love, to too tired lives.in short, the rains... will bring God to us.

to a lost one

"i shall haunt you, o my lost one, as the twilight haunts a re-entangled trail, and your dreams will linger strangely with the music of a phantom lover's tale. you shall not forget, for i am past forgetting. i shall come to you again with the starlight and the scent of wild champacas, and the melody of rain. you shall not forget. dust will peer into your window, tragic-eyed and still, and unbidden, startle you into remembrance with its hand upon the sill." a poem by ANGELA MANALANG-GLORIA

the bridge

it had rained recently and so i see a million happy thoughts in every dewed leaf. still, i feel a dull ache in my heart... i wonder if i will be able to continue being the link between souls that are not exactly from the same world... how odd and how interesting. there is a great distance between... geographical, emotional and social. though not with the mental and spiritual selves. those are still being developed as i write. problem is... the other soul is me...

i can not burn a bridge that isn't even finished... just like i can not let go of something or someone that i don't even have in the first place...

God led me to this path... i trust His will... no room for doubts... what will be, will be... He is the bridge.

pray for rain

the country's archbishop, cardinal rosales... announces that we should asked God for rain... kinda made me think of some tribal rain dance in the old times or some far flung region... but this isn't a joke... if it doesn't rain soon the water level in our dams will be so critical there wouldn't be enough water to supply the country... tsk, tsk, tsk... time to worry then... not! didn't the good cardinal said pray to God, Our Almighty Father? he means we should trust Him to help us through the crisis we are facing... he means our faith in God will be the one that will fill the clouds to bring in the rain. so let's be that great people of hope and faith... pray! not just because we need it, but because we believe that the Will of God will never take us to where the Grace of God will not protect us. Amen to that. i so believe it will rain soon...God has things planned for us... this is His way of saying, even as we choose to mismanage His natural gifts, we still have time to make it up for our environment... so even as we pray... let's do our part and conserve and protect our natural resources.