Sunday, February 24, 2008

colored stress


colored stress
Originally uploaded by jdthinker
this was the cause of my stress this week... had to make decorations for 27 gowns with these and had no idea where to begin... how can such pretty colors make ones head ache? but all's done now... thank God! i have done my best...

Sunday, February 10, 2008

secret hope in the waiting room


secret hope
Originally uploaded by jdthinker
" will you see me in the end?
or is it just a waste of time
trying to be your friend?
just shine, shine, shine
shine a little light
shine a light on my life..."
--- keane, hamburg song


where ever i go...i'm often equipped for boredom... a book, a sketch pad, a journal for writing, mp3 for music and cam phone for taking flckr shots... the simplest things catch my interest and if worthy holds it for a long time... so if there's no one to chat with... i go entertain myself with them boredom gears...

but there are other kinds of waiting that sucks! waiting for replies that never come...whether it be through emails, letters, phone calls, text messages or a little note... i am guilty of late replies but i do try to reply when i have the time... i try to see if things are in urgent need of such or can be postponed... often, if possible, i send my apologies, so that... if i forget... at least, i didn't keep whoever it was waiting in vain... i believe, i have kept a lot of folks waiting in some way...that is because it takes ages for me to decide... do i sever? do i keep relating? often still, i think i usually end up explaining myself to walls and to the wind...because no one seems to have the right mind to understand... there are people who left me hanging, never certain if i'll be attended on... wish they will just be clear with stuffs and tell me so... so i can move along...


my immediate world is as diverse as can be:
there are people who demands too much attention,
there are people who wants less,
there are those who gives a lot of concern
and there are those who couldn't care less...
there are those wise
and there are those who pretends to be,
and there are those who are just plain silly...
there are those who gives good advice
and those who gives advice but never heeds them
and there are those who forgets giving the advice at all...
there are those who teaches me a lot of things,
more so in actions than words...
there are those who just be and influences me greatly...
many are loud,
others silent..
many are seen,
some shrouded...
many are too real,
others fantastic and arcane...
some are simple and ordinary,
others are orphic and sublime...
my world is one and all...
but mostly it's the same as everyone else's...
God given and full of blessings...

i read somewhere... that the secret of waiting is doing something else for the meanwhile... true... but still what is there to do, if you are a thinker like me... always in constant thought... a zillion thoughts will wage a war in my head and i will lose... darn! think! think! think! think! always thinking!but hey! i win, anyway in the end of it all...for God is waiting with me...

but still... a reply would be lovely!

rsvp


rsvp
Originally uploaded by jdthinker
"some things are sacred, baby
why have you gone and trampled them lately?
i guess it's just all a part of your way
you should be ashamed
i'm getting tired of fighting
i guess i should ask
'do i go quietly down?
do i kick? do i scream when i'm bound?
are you coming
to open the door?
are you near,
are you near, is it far?' "
--- sixpence none the richer, the waiting room


*** one leaf, makes me think of someone... the other, makes me think of something... i am bound in a way... trying to let go and yet couldn't... enlightened yet shrouded...
i have said time and again that i am letting God do what must be done... but there are still moments when i question... tempted to throw in the towel... but always... always... still holding on... why it is such... i am never certain... all i know is... i am here... waiting... and God is waiting with me...