a dozen to go

" Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will find them gradually, without noticing it, and live along some distant day into the answer." --- Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet I feel the energy being sucked out of me... and I think I'm a willing victim... but the vampire is asleep... this must be another enemy, then... some gargoyle casting shadows hovering and waiting for the right moment... ready to strike terror and feed on my soul... I can not unthink the thoughts anymore than I can unspeak words. Everyone must have some things to deal with one way or another... a regret to live with, a mistake to learn from, a fear to master... There is no escaping situations, the only way out is through. And even if I did get to run away... I will still end up being here... I have read somewhere that God will always take us back to a certain situation until we get the lesson... I have been looking for that article over the past year but I never did find it... I would chance upon quotes and lyrics... similar but not quite... It has lead me to believe that... these lines, these quotes... they will only leap from the page at the right moment that I need them... But when is the right moment? My mind has been on automatic reset every time I thought of something clever to write... May be I should blame the vampires and the gargoyles... That is easier... Less effort to understand and look for clarity... But they are here to cast shadows, right? And what is my favorite lightplay without the shadows... The shadows can not hurt me... I have a Great Sheild... In time all will be revealed... let me not be asleep then...