a sort of epic dream

i fell asleep early this afternoon... only did a bit of work... even now... i am part sleepy... during that nap... i had a dream... i can't really be certain... it was one of those fast-paced ones that you figure yourself into and then realize it's just a dream... in it were people i know... some friends, relatives and celebrities... one particular part disturbs me... in this part a friend who was gay(in real life and in the dream) was helping us enter a sort of club... he seems to have a past with the guy on the front door and they have a little discussion... then the next scene we were inside.. there we were... a couple of friends, cousins and a celebrity whom i can't remember the name but i really like. she sits next to me on the lounge... we were reading a letter written by my gay friend and it was a deep and apologetic letter... regretting his mistakes and some other... i'm not sure but it seems to make sense in the dream... seem to be saying goodbye to us... then i told them..."i don't think it's the end... there is something more in this..." then the partition between rooms slid open and a former classmate who seem to be the club owner emerges... he said... oi! to us because he seem to recognize us then... he said wait ... i had a feeling that my gay friend will be appearing soon... indeed, he does! silhouetted behind the curtain... he seem to be in sort of a ritual or surgical operation... then he said something about removing his member, too... so it won't be a problem anymore... we watched the scene... all of us there... the celebrity... who is particularly close to me in the dream... hugs me... and i held her... she was crying... somewhere in me, i felt she's in love with my gay friend (i silently felt repulsive but my loyalty to my friends remained...)so... there we were watching... he being dis-membered... then because of loosing too much blood... he dies...(i was sort of relieved, i'm not sure why) but then... something emerges from the body (and this is very vivid in my mind right now...) a sort of monster... greenish-black thing - similar looking to those in the species movie... the male being was being taken away... then another one a female... revealed herself and took him back... at that moment, i sensed my celebrity friend weeping more intensely... as we held each other... and then it was revealed that there was a smaller being... an offspring of the two... somehow i felt that it was me... my celebrity friend looked at me and we both weeped most uncontrollably... i'm not sure what happened after... i do not think that my gay friend lived or resurrected... but i am certain that the 3 beings... father, mother and child were together somehow... a revelation in a way.... i have no idea. all i'm certain is it feels almost dejavu... like that was my past life... so maybe, i am a product of a gay man and a beautiful celebrity... of a relationship that can not be... a monster that is not to be... but in the dream... i felt intense love coming from my celebrity friend... i also realized that, maybe that is why we are particularly close is because we have a past life together... wow! i still feel the strong emotion from it.... i will have to analyze this dream more... i will pray to God to help me discern... it may mean something that i have to learn and realize in my waking life... something that i see as inhuman but is in actuality far more sacred... i have half-promised not to blog... but that dream needed release... i hope i will not miss the message that it is telling me... i suddenly remembered my silent friend... i wonder, if there is any dream that disturbs her? maybe... she has trouble sleeping, too... whom does she share them with? for me, i have an entire world to help me figure things out... and an Almighty God to make sure i don't get caught in a nightmare by screwing things up... from today's catextism : " faith is the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted in spite of your changing moods." C.S.Lewis